"Ode to Michael Weiss"
Michael, Michael, you're so great
How manfully you procreate.
Rippling biceps, bulging pecs -
No doubt you're not the fairer sex!
Go out and bare your hunky bod
While you are falling on your quad,
You may be sliding on your rear
But at least no one will think you're queer
Well now you're finally U.S. champ -
But you still don't get my undies damp
Mikey, Mikey, Mikey...
You're "Mr. Macho", and some folks thing you're great
But, if your ego-inflated head gets much bigger
We'll need a wide screen tube to watch you skate!
Mike Weiss: Always skates
With open mouth. It's ugly.
Learn to breathe through nose.