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Pasha Grishuk

Pasha¢s lilac skates
Flashing as she twizzles ¡round,
winning Gold, of course.

Acts like a dog,
fights like a cat,
looks like Marilyn Monroe,

There was a young woman named Pasha
She had an affair with Sasha
She won gold twice but still was despised
So she died her hair white and skates purple

She went to Hollywood to be a star
Got engaged to her agent but didn't get far
Her partner dumped her, the skating world mocked her
So now she skates with Sasha

Pasha the skater now wants to act
She wants to be a star, as a matter of fact.
She fell in Nagano, but still won the gold
With the help of the judges, so stodgy and old.

Queen of the Olympics, now "Queen of the Screen"
She bleached her hair so she can be seen.
Athletes who act, I've seen this before.
Does anyone remember Mitch Gaylord?

For Mitch, gymnastics was his life.
Then he made that movie with Wayne Gretzky's wife.
He's made more movies, as a matter of fact.
His latest had its world premiere on Cinemax.

Oh Pasha, dear Pasha
Will we see you at the multiplex,
Mystery Science Theater, or on cable?
Or will we see you at Denny's
Waiting on tables.

Pasha's no Monroe --
Instead, God had to give us
A Russian Tonya!

Pasha. A Joke. Laugh?
Yes. Pitiful. Pompous.
Stardom? In your dreams.

Pasha darling,
Have you heard the news?
Oksana wants to change her name
"Pasha" said Baiul

Don't just stop with your skates
Should you have some extra paint
A purple face would be just great

You changed your name
So you wouldn't be like "the bad Oksana"
You think trying to scar your competitors
And steal their boyfriends
Makes you good?!
You think it's so great to have a gold medal
Don't you know it was arranged?!

What kind of a name is Pasha?
It reminds me of pickles that are kosha
She seeks actress fame
With her silly name
Who knows, she may be a dish washa!

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